Hardwood Dildos
Hardwood Dildos

When I ventured on to Hans site Hardwood Dildos I was pleasantly surprised to see that his dildos aren’t turned on lathes and therefore they can offer twists, bends (yum!), penis shapes and custom if required because they are lovingly carved from exotic woods.

Hans dildos are offered in too many woods to list here in this review but in addition they have an astounding 182 styles to offer. So, even the most discerning of you ladies reading this is sure to find something to tickle your fancy. 😉 Each dildo is carved, sanded and sealed with Salad Bowl Finish to give you a smooth waterproof shell.

Where possible Hans tries to use wood reclaimed from larger projects, lumberyards or given to him by friends. He even uses wood from fallen trees so that he minimises his impact on natural resources. He really is a very nice man who has managed to turn his hobby in to pleasuring thousands of women…who could want for more eh Hans! 😉

It took me ages to decide on a design and then I had Hans develop it to fit me, the end result a beautiful walnut dildo with an extra long handle. As you can see from the image above it is an object of beauty and should not be hidden away.

Alex collected the package from the Royal Mail sorting office the following morning to the card appearing on the doorstep. I was eager to open my naughty little delivery but had to wait until after work the following day.

When I opened the box and hunted through the protective packaging I found a sumptuous deep purple velvet pouch, pulled tight with a tiny cream ribbon and secured with a bow. From the moment of opening the package I felt that something special had just been delivered to me. 😉

Then I opened the sleeve with Alex looking on, not wanting to miss out on anything. After all we were stood in the kitchen still wearing our workwear, we were so eager to check out the contents of the package.

I slipped the dildo out of the top of its sleeve and it shone like satin, the wood grain so distinct and beautiful as I held it in my hands. Alex took hold of it and just like me could appreciate the hours of work it takes to create such a wonderful piece of art.

He didn’t have it for long though. I took it from his grasp and disappeared upstairs clutching it tightly, one thing on my mind. 😉 Getting out of my workwear. Not.

I hurriedly changed out of my respectable clothes and went to the bathroom to run myself a nice warm bath to soak away the aches and strains of the day. Meantime Alex was changing out of his clothes and venturing in to the kitchen to prepare dinner. He takes his turn with me at cooking which leaves me time to be naughty relax. 😉

The water began to flow from the taps and poured a lavish amount of bubble bath in to the water collecting below. Whilst the bath was filling I washed off my new dildo in some anti bac soap and placed it on the side of the bath for later.

I turned off the taps and slipped in to the foamy water. Nothing compares to laying back in a warm bubble bath when you have had a hard day at work. I could feel the tension ebb from every pore as I lay in the suds.

Now completely relaxed and receptive I took hold of my new dildo. A smile played on my lips as I lowered it below the waterline. I ran the wooden nub against my clit for a moment. It felt good. The nobbled handle made it easy to grip as I pushed apart my pussy lips.

I slipped lower down in to the water, raising my hips and bending my knees so my feet were flat on the bath base holding me firm. The water and the wood opened me up without the need for lube, I suppose there was also some of my own natural moisture around too. 😉
The dildo eased in to the base of the nobbles and came to rest on my vaginal wall. I then began to move the dildo slowly in and out of my pussy. It felt very filling and the long handle made it easy to manipulate. The combination of the wood and the shape made the dido feel so easy and natural to use.

This time I added a little push backwards on the handle upon entry and FUCK! That hit the spot. I knew it was massaging my g-spot because I wanted to pee, a sure sign. The dildo was now moving in and out of my pouting pussy quite quickly and the water began to undulate in the bath and a little poured over the top.

I slowed my action and eased out of the water a little causing less displacement. The level dropped. Silly me for putting so much in. Lol the action of the dildo was now beginning to bring me off and I braced myself for my first orgasm. It was loud…I forgot about the amplification from the tiled surfaces. I thing that Alex must have heard, not sure about the neighbours.

One is never enough and I continued to work my vagina with this wonderful wooden toy. This time I stirred myself using a small circular motion and buy did that do the trick. Another orgasm was building in no time and l pushed my knees against the walls of the bath as I climaxed once more.

When I opened my eyes Alex was leaning on the edge of the bath, head on his arms watching me. “Are you enjoying your bath?”, he enquired with a slight smile. He could tell from my face that the answer to that was a YES!

No batteries are required and you can use it in the bath, shower or even when you want a quiet orgasm because you have visitors. Perhaps not that quiet if you are me though. Lol And if you ask Hans nicely he will tell you that he made another just like mine in Cherry, why don’t you go and ask him? 😉

Tags: dildo, dildo review, wooden dildo, hardwood dildo, sex toy review

By Suze

Suze has been using and reviewing sex toys for over a decade. Her sex toy reviews are valued by consumers and the adult industry alike making her one of the most respect adult industry writers and consultants in the world.