Anal Sex Advice
Anal sex was once completely taboo, but is now becoming accepted within many sections of our society. Once the province of gay male couples and a few intrepid sexual adventurers it is now not uncommon for anal sex to form part of any relationship, whatever the participants’ orientation.
As with all sexual practices anal sex should be done for the right reasons and because you and your partner derive pleasure directly or indirectly from it. What we’ll try and do now is discuss the important issues around an aspect of sex that is still misunderstood but can bring great pleasure to your relationships.
Should I Do Anal?
That is a question only you can answer.
In the paragraphs below we can describe how to best enjoy anal sex with your partner, how to prepare and how to ensure you avoid the potential problems that are associated with anal intercourse.
What we can’t do is tell you whether you’re ready to indulge in anal, if you’ll get any pleasure from it or even if you’ll find it painful. Only careful exploration with your partner in a relaxed and open environment will answer those questions. So, we would advise that the place to start is talking to your partner about the subject.
If you are both comfortable with the idea, and perhaps have read the advice below, you can begin to explore. At all stages of your anal journey keep communicating with each other. Then, if one of you finds they do or don’t like something you can act on it immediately to ensure that whether anal eventually becomes a regular part of your love life or not the experience is about learning and sharing rather than disappointment and discomfort.
Preparing For Anal
Although not entirely necessary many people douche before anal sex or using anal toys. If you don’t douche any faecal matter present in your rectum can be spread outside and can pose a risk of infection.
On the flip side of this, douching or even giving yourself an enema can flush away the natural mucus that is present on the walls of your intestine and this may cause your gut to become irritated. It’s all about knowing your own body.
A sensible precaution is to ensure you’ve moved your bowels before anal sex to avoid your partner encountering something up there they might not want to.
Relaxation is also key to enjoyable anal sex. If the “receiving” partner is tense, either because they are nervous, an unwilling participant or any other reason, anal sex is unlikely to be pleasant and could be painful or dangerous.
One thing you could try is experimenting with small butt plugs before you venture into full anal intercourse. Some manufacturers sell sets of plugs, in small, medium and large sizes, specifically to allow you to become used to the sensation of having your anus penetrated.
Remember, life is not a porn film. When you see a porn star being anally fucked vigorously by a partner with a huge penis, with apparently no preparation it’s a fiction. They will be lubed up thoroughly and will have used anal toys before the shoot to prepare themselves for their apparently spontaneous anal hammering.
The Anatomy Of Anal Sex
Unlike the vagina, which is designed to accept a penis, the rectum is not. The entrance to your rectum is held shut by two rings of muscle or anal sphincters. The outer sphincter can be relaxed by its owner directly, you can consciously control if it’s tight or not. The inner one is under the control of your more primeval brain and to put it simply closes automatically if you’re not passing a motion.
To ensure that both of your sphincters are able to accept the passage of an anal toy or penis you need to be relaxed. That’s why gentle erotic foreplay and trust are essential before attempting anal sex. The inner sphincter can be persuaded to open if gently probed with a lubed finger or toy. Inserting a small butt plug and leaving it in there for longer and longer periods over several nights can be a way to get you used to the sensation.
Past the anal sphincters your lower intestine is not straight like the vagina, but twists and turns. If your partner has a large penis or you are attempting to use a long anal toy you must remember this fact and not enter the anus too vigorously. The walls of the colon are very delicate and prone to irritation and tearing if treated roughly. A tear in the wall of the colon can lead to severe, potentially life threatening, medical problems such as peritonitis.
This means that when it comes to anal, slow and gentle is the way to proceed, especially when you’re anal newbies. If you feel resistance, stop, back off and try another angle. Don’t be surprised if your partner can’t get his penis or a particular toy fully into your ass.
Lubrication And Anal Sex
Although the colon does produce a small amount of mucus to protect itself and ease the passage of waste matter that does not constitute any real lubrication. The vagina produces copious amounts of fluids to ensure (amongst other things) the safe and pleasurable passage of a man’s penis during sex.
The colon is to all intents and purposes a very dry area. It was also not designed for the insertion of a penis or anything else for that matter so lubrication is key.
Choosing the right lubricant and having plenty of it is a prerequisite of good anal sex.
Silicone based lubes are long lasting and often recommended for anal. However some silicone lubes, and petroleum based products like Vaseline can degrade some condoms.
We would recommend you buy a good water based lube and plenty of it. Check to see if it’s condom safe – there are hybrid silicone/water lubes so read the label to ensure you don’t compromise you condom’s integrity.
Don’t try olive oil, baby oil or any other concoction that’s not purpose made for the job.
Hygienic And Safe Anal Sex
Anal sex has the potential to transmit STIs just as vaginal sex does. In addition to the usual array of sexually transmitted infections you can pick up bacterial infections from the bugs naturally present in the gut. Unlike the vagina your partner’s colon is not an entirely friendly place for your cock to venture.
You could of course wear a condom and if you are relatively new to the relationship, have multiple partners, or simple don’t like the idea of slipping your naked penis into your partner’s ass then slip one on.
On the subject of infection, never alternate between anus and vagina during anal intercourse. The chances of moving those potentially very nasty bugs from their anus to vagina are very high.
Lastly take note of the advice on lubes and condom compatibility above.
Finally – Our Top Tips For Safe, Fun Anal Play
1 – discuss anal with your partner and make sure it’s something you both want to do.
2 – Read the tips above so you both know what’s involved.
3 – Make sure you’re relaxed and indulge in a lot of foreplay. Keep talking and if at any time either of you feel uncomfortable, physically, mentally or emotionally, let the other person know.
4 – Try small anal toys before the “real thing” it will help you relax and let you find out if you want to go all the way.
5 – Use lots of lube, we recommend water based, wear a condom if you need/want to.
6 – Most importantly, have fun.