The questions we are most often asked are:

“How do I prepare to use an anal sex toy?”

“Isn’t anal sex and using anal sex toys painful?”

“What is the best anal sex toy?”

“What size of anal sex toy should I buy?”

When you are new to anal stimulation these sort of very general questions are the ones that cross your mind. It’s a big subject so while we can give you a lot of good pointers you’ll have to experiment a little, but that’s part of the fun isn’t it?

Preparing for Anal Sex and Anal Sex Toys

Whether you are intending to use a sex toy on your ass or have anal sex with your partner there are five things you should bear in mind:

Safety and comfort: If you have any medical problems at the opening to or inside your anus then avoid any type of sexual play in that area. Sticking a sex toy or a penis up there can aggravate existing conditions.

Cleanliness and hygiene: Although not strictly necessary some people choose to use an anal douche before anal play. Although you’ll never get what is effectively a waste shoot spotlessly clean preparation can make the experience more comfortable and pleasant for everyone. Also during anal play faecal matter will get moved around and potentially cause bacterial infections so don’t share anal toys and definitely don’t use a toy in your ass then in anyone’s vagina.

Select the right toy: There’s a whole section devoted to this below, so read that and plan ahead to make sure you have the right toy for you.

Condoms: When enjoying anal sex a condom can protect you both from infections and not just HIV/Aids. Because there is a lot of bacteria in the gut you may prefer to wear a condom that can be discarded after sex anyway. Some people even use a condom on their anal sex toys.

Relax: Your anal sphincter muscles automatically tense up and close if you try to push anything in from the outside. You have to learn how to let them open and not try to reject whatever you are trying to insert. This can take time and patience so don’t rush it.

Is Anal Sex And Using Anal Sex Toys Painful?

The short answer is, only if you do it wrong. The long answer depends on a number of factors.

First of all read the section above, if you’re already sore or are prone to issues with your lower bowel then consider what anal sex and toys might do to aggravate them. It’s common sense, especially when you consider that unlike the vagina which is a very tough structure the walls of your gut are sensitive and can even tear, leading to serious illness.

Unlike a vagina your ass doesn’t have a hymen to break, after all you’ve been passing stuff through it the other way all your life, right? But also unlike a woman’s vagina our asses don’t have any form of lubrication so you need to have plenty to hand to avoid discomfort and injury. Yes injury – see the last paragraph. You can use any good quality water based lubricant, especially the really viscous ones as we find they work better anally. Some people use silicone lubes as they are waterproof for fun in the shower and last longer – but they can react with some silicone sex toys and are more expensive.

You might consider lube syringes, blunt nosed devices that allow you to squirt lube right inside your ass ready to accept a sex toy or your lover.

Then of course there’s the type and size of anal sex toy you should use. To help you choose we’ve combined our answer to the last two questions below …

What Design and Size of Anal Sex Toy Should I buy

The general rule about size is that being over-ambitious as a newby to anal sex toys could put you off forever. But as they say size isn’t everything, especially when it comes to anal sex toys.

Every anal toy be they butt plugs, anal beads or prostate massagers has a unique shape and it’s this shape as much as the size that determines how they feel when in use. Additionally there are two broad types of anal sex toy, unisex and anal sex toys for men. The reason for this is that men possess the P Spot, an area on the front wall of their bowel about a finger length inside that creates intense pleasure when massaged. Indeed it is possible to make a man ejaculate simply by massaging this area.

The P Spot is actually where you can massage a man’s prostate gland through the wall of the bowel so it’s no surprise that intense sensation and ejaculation can result if it’s manipulated correctly.

Unisex toys can be used by men and women to equal effect the anal toys designed specifically for guys work best for them as on the whole they are made to massage the prostate.

In terms of size it is possible to buy sets of butt plugs of varying sizes from tiny to huge, alternatively buy two or three cheap butt plugs and work your way up before investing in a high quality one of the size you prefer made from more expensive materials. We would advise against cheap, brightly coloured, “jelly” plastic sex toys with any strange “chemical” smell as they can contain phthalates, chemicals that have been linked to medical issues. All plastics have a slight odour when new but those with a strong odour should be avoided just in case. Check out packaging and product information to see if they are “Phthalate free” before buying.” The best starter butt plugs are cheap silicone ones.

Once you have found your size then look at the vibrating, rotating and even thrusting options available.

Anal beads can be fun too, they are often graduated in size so that you can push as many or as few inside as you like. In common with other anal toys the sensation of being filled up before sex, their movement during the sexual act and then being withdrawn afterwards can all be deeply fulfilling. There’s even a term for the removal of anal beads “popping”, which you’ll understand once you have experienced it. One type of bead which we don’t like are those held together by a woven cord or string, they are difficult to keep clean, which for an anal toy is incredibly important. Choose anal beads moulded from one piece of silicone where you can.

Summary

Here are our top tips:

• Take your time to choose the right toy, and don’t be too ambitious on size to begin with.
• Prepare by relaxing and lubing up first – remember a good quality water based lube is compatible with all sex toys, it’s cheap and washes off easily.
• Take your time