Je Joue Uma

Je Joue Uma

Je Joue Uma

It’s quite some time since I got my hands on a product for sex toy review from this renowned and innovative UK adult product manufacturer.  In fact, wait there a minute whilst I check out just how long I won’t be long…

…it was in fact March last year!

As you would expect from this manufacturer the quality and feel of this product is very good.  The Je Joue Uma has a velvety texture you just want to stroke and unlike some premium manufacturers products the Uma doesn’t have any visible seams or joints.

The overall effect is one of a smooth organic body shaped form which sits nicely in the palm and features two simple to operate controls.  I was eager to give her a try but first I need to charge her.

Uma comes complete with her charger which magnetically locks in place (repels if you have it the wrong way round) and stays there, unlike some of its counterparts which are prone to falling off whilst charging.

In fact the Uma rather cleverly charges through its control buttons without the need for extra docking points.  And because of this there is no risk of water ingress meaning you can full submerge her which will make bath time that much more fun.

It didn’t take Uma long to get in the mood and I decided to wash her and play with her at the same time.  I turned on the taps and poured an ample amount of my favourite bubble bath in to the cascading water.

I light a scented candle and placed it on the windowsill next to the bath and turned out the lights.  The ambient light served to make a calm environment in which to chill from the days excursion.  I’m not a bath person, opting for the quick shower and go instead so it’s a special occasion for me when I slip in to the warm waters.

Lets take a moment to study Uma in more detail whilst my bath runs.

  • A two hour charge will give you up to two hours of masturbatory satisfaction.
  • She is fully submergable so no need to worry about water ingress and potential damage.
  • Has easy to operate + and – controls and a frequency button between.
  • Is not only powerful but is also reasonably quiet.
  • Offers seven levels of vibration and seven frequencies so plenty of ways to pleasure yourself.
  • Has a stylish ergonomic shape which fits a woman’s contours perfectly or even a man if you wish to play together.  Simply slip the tip over your man’s perineum and watch the smile appear.

I stem the water flow as it reaches the half way mark, don’t want too much water in there in case I should thrash around.  😉  A quick squirt of anti bac soap and a dip in to the waters soon cleanses Uma and she is ready for action and so am I.

The fragrant perfume in the air and the warm glow of the candle entice me in to the warm waters.  First I test the heat with my fingers and then disrobe, letting the satin wrap fall to the floor.  My feet tingle as the warmth of the water takes hold.

As I sink below the water I wish I had some music but there was no way I was getting out of the bath and Alex wouldn’t hear me if I called because he was busy at his computer.  Oh well, I will just have to manage.  Lol

I was feeling totally relaxed as I pressed the + button several times until it reached the speed I knew was going to be good for me.  A word of warning, the water does act as an amplifier so make sure you don’t have company when you indulge in some wet and wild fun.  😉

The buttons were easily discernable in the water having noted the plus and minus side before play began.  I lay the Uma base facing me over my clit, the curve ensuring that the tip just penetrated me which felt really good and I pressed the function button and found a really hot throbbing pattern which made me squirm.

Eager for more I penetrated myself and felt the tip slide deep inside me grinding against my g-spot as it made its way deeper.  The waves of vibration were massaging my g-spot and I let out a tiny moan of pleasure whilst pushing my feet against the wall of the bath knees spread wide.

Uma’s wishbone shape and nipped waist meant that I could feel my muscles grip her waist as I slipped her in and out of me.  I intended to remove her and give her a chance to play with my clit but I couldn’t resist the urge to fuck myself with her vigorously and that’s exactly what I did.

My hand plunged in and out of the water as I used the perfectly curved Uma to bring myself off and my toes curled towards me as I found my release.  Water crashed upon rocks and foamed…and I came just as dramatically with just one witness the cat who had pushed open the bathroom door but what the hell the cat isn’t going to say anything now is he.  😉

The Uma is a versatile all rounder kind of toy.  Use if for deep penetrative g-spot pleasure or as a clit teaser the choice is yours and because she isn’t particularly large you will find her a good companion whatever your level of vibratory expertise.



Suze has been using and reviewing sex toys for over a decade. Her sex toy reviews are valued by consumers and the adult industry alike making her one of the most respect adult industry writers and consultants in the world.