The VërSpanken Masturbator is billed as “A new kind of home entertainment system” by its manufacturers Big Teaze Toys. And it most certainly is. The only other male masturbator that I’ve encountered that even vaguely, and I mean vaguely, resembles it is the Monkey Spanker, and that is a totally different beasty altogether.

So disregarding any other male masturbators what is VërSpanken?

VërSpanken consists of a plastic case made from TPR into which you insert two “Wieners”. The Wieners are as you might expect thick sausage shaped soft plastic inserts which provide the texture for the masturbator experience. They come in wavy, bumpy and smooth varieties, normally filled with foam (FoamWieners^TM). But you can also buy WaterWieners^TM – designed to be cooled in the refrigerator or warmed in the microwave thus increasing the range of sensation available to you. The instructions also suggest you mix and match Wieners to give even more variety.

The only thing you will need to buy to use your new VërSpanken is lube. You can use any sort of personal lubricant, including silicone lubes for this product. However don’t use any oil based lubes of any kind as they may damage the toy.

The case of the VërSpanken is hinged at one end with a clasp at the other allowing you to easily open the toy to remove the Wieners for cleaning or to lube them up before use. Indeed this open-ended design allows you to vary the pressure when you use the VërSpanken from light to tight as you prefer. This is especially useful if you have a large girth and find more conventional sleeve type masturbators constricting and difficult to use.

The hinged case design means that this masturbator fits guys of any size without compromising sensation for any one of them. Inspired.

I initially tried the wavy FoamWiener^TM set installed when I was given the VërSpanken at the eroFame Hanover trade show. Using a good quality hybrid lube I’d also picked up at the show I found I needed quite large amount of lube to ensure my penis and the VërSpanken were thoroughly slicked up and ready for action. Without thorough lubrication the VërSpanken tends to pull at your skin, not the sort of tug you’re looking for.

Hard, slippery and VërSpanken in hand I experimented with the masturbator, attempting the “upward curl”, “rocking & stroking” and “swivel” actions all suggested in the masturbator’s manual. At first I found the VërSpanken a little large to handle but quickly got to grips with the shape and became adept at sliding it up and down my hard cock. The sensation is that of a slick pussy or a skilful mouth working on your shaft – very pleasant indeed. The yielding nature of the Wieners and the ability to perfectly control the pressure against your shaft make this a very effective sex toy.

Next I tried the WaterWieners^TM, heated in the microwave. As a guide I warmed them for two minutes ten seconds at 700 watts, but I’d suggest you experiment as all microwaves are different. And having WaterWieners^TM explode in your microwave would probably invalidate the warranty of both the cooker and the WaterWieners^TM 😉

Nice and warm I fitted the WaterWieners^TM to the case and proceeded to play. The warm wieners give a great sensation, far exceeding my expectations of their smooth surface. I do like contours, ridges and bumps inside masturbators but the combination of elastic walls, surrounding the warm liquid inside created the perfect sensation as it was squeezed around my penis while I masturbated and ticked every box.

VërSpanken represents a whole new type of masturbator. It is simple, easy to clean and is also fully recyclable, including the packaging it comes in. The inventor and owner of Big Teaze, who we talked to at great length at the eroFame show has even made sure that the materials used are such a high standard they would be fit for use in children’s toys.

Safe, fun, eco-friendly and effective. I’m impressed!