Kinky Crackers

Kinky Crackers

Kinky Crackers

Kinky Crackers add the element of surprise to your bedroom play, an adult game of chance that’s simple to play and delivers immediately. The problem with adult games is that too often they are prescriptive and over-thought so that you can feel that the passion is being replaced by the gameplay. It’s not always the case but it does happen. Kinky Crackers aren’t a game as such but do have an element of chance about them. They introduce an element of chance into sex that looks like it could be fun and suggestive of a new variety in your sex life without squeezing the life out of it.

Kinky Crackers come in a box of two. You could say, his and hers, though if you use the contents properly you should both enjoy them. The box contains a list of the possible surprises you’ll find inside them. Top of the list and common to all the crackers is a condom, top marks for promoting safe sex there as not only does every cracker have a condom but there’s advice on use of condoms, warnings about making sure they are in date etc.

Also in your cracker you may find:

  • One of two types of bullet vibrator
  • A cock ring
  • Nipple Tassels
  • Silicone Lubricant
  • Massage Oils

A sexual position card inside each cracker suggests a new congress configuration for you to try with tips on how you and your partner can make the most of it and the sex toy provided.

All the goodies, except the position card are held in a neat little draw-string bag so that when you pull the cracker and the snap in it is triggered the contents don’t go flying everywhere. So with slight aroma of pyrotechnics in your nostrils the fun can begin.

The outer box of the Kinky Crackers is what you’d expect of a mid-range Christmas Cracker, as is the cracker itself. When it comes to the toys inside they too are not from the designer end of the market but perfectly usable. The 80mm bullet vibe obviously takes its inspiration from other immensely popular bullet vibes with a single but powerful speed. The cock ring is from the “value” end of the market, what I’d regard as single-use and disposable. Both of these toys are quite powerful while being cheap and cheerful.

The condoms in the crackers I received were by Pasante and here too you experience a variety of sensations such as flavoured, cooling etc.

Opening a Kinky Cracker is more like opening your Christmas presents than pulling Christmas crackers over the carcass of an unfortunate Christmas turkey. There’s no daft hat to wear, awful joke to endure or useless bottle stopper that you always try to slip in the trash but pretend you took home to use. What you get is a toy to play with, lube and/or massage oil, a brief and concise suggestion on how you should enjoy sex with your partner and a condom to make sure you both stay safe.

Kinky Cracker Prizes

Kinky Cracker Prizes

Adding to the anticipation of sex? Prompting you and your partner to experiment in the bedroom? And all for a very reasonable price too? Sounds like a great gift idea to me and as we’re coming up to Christmas it’s perfectly timed as well.

Kinky crackers are very different from board or card based games. There is only one rule and that’s the element of chance engendered with each cracker you pull, indeed they are not a game at all simply a surrender to chaos where nobody involved knows what will fall out of the cracker or exactly how you and your partner will enjoy it. Whether you’re a couple or a group, “conventional” or with an alternative sex life as swinging there’s lots to enjoy about Kinky Crackers and for the price you’ll enjoy a lot of smiles.

Just don’t get them mixed up with the ones you’re going to use for a family Christmas.



Alex reviews sex toys both solo and with his partner Suze, allowing him to give a unique perspective on adult products from a truly authoritative and experienced standpoint.