Studies show that people today are becoming more and more curious about exploring anal sex. This reflects on how our perceptions of sexuality continue to evolve as a society.
Anal sex can be especially exhilarating but is also very intimidating for most people who have not experienced it. The most important way to prepare for it is mentally. If you are truly not ready, have an honest conversation with your partner. But if you are, here are a couple of things you can (and should) do to prepare for first time anal sex and make it a repeat-worthy experience:
1. Manage your expectations
The hard truth is you might not like anal sex much the first time you try it. But that’s okay. There are numerous nerve endings around the anus that, when properly stimulated, make for an explosive orgasm. Be patient and keep trying, once you get it right, you will see what all the fuss is about!
2. Stock up on lube
You should NEVER embark on any anal play without lube. Sure, that isn’t what you see happening in porn videos, but lubricant is absolutely essential in real life. The anus does not naturally ‘juice up’. For the purpose of anal sex, thicker water based lubes work better. Don’t be shy, lather up the ‘work’ area thoroughly and set out to play. Oil-based lubricants are not preferred because they usually deaden sensation and is very hard to clean up afterward.
3. Clean up
Clinicians advise that the anus and lower rectum rarely have much fecal matter, so try not to feel too self-conscious. That does not mean you shouldn’t try to clean up ‘back there.’ You can either go all out, using enemas and douches, which has no adverse effects if done now and then; or you can simply wash with warm water. Also, consider using a condom during anal sex to help keep bacteria from spreading around. Keeping baby wipes next to the bed is also a good idea.
4. Experiment with toys
There are a number of toys available that can be used to stretch out the anus before penetrative anal sex. You can begin by having your partner use their fingers on you during traditional sex, then graduate to using toys like butt plugs, anal beads or anal vibrators. Just make sure any toys you use have a flanged bottom to avoid any emergency trips to the ER!
5. Make sure there is added stimulation
Make sure to focus on foreplay to get you and your partner into the mood. No amount of lube can take the place of good, old-fashioned foreplay! As you proceed to anal play, or if you feel your partner tensing up, make sure to keep stimulating the vagina, breasts, or any other of your partner’s erogenous zone. Anal foreplay can also get your partner aroused and eager to experience the pleasure that comes from this great beyond. Rimming and mild pegging can be done to steam things up and get you started.
6. Clean up between the butt and vagina
You should never go from the anus to the vagina without cleaning up or disposing of the used condom. Allowing this can lead to infections or UTIs, and is just plain unhealthy.
7. Get in the right position
At least for the first time, consider spooning or getting flat on your stomach. These positions are the less painful for newbies. You could also be on top to allow you to keep a comfortable pace. Do not try the missionary position for your first time! Experts suggest this may be the most painful option.
8. Bear Down
As counterintuitive as it may seem, pushing once your partner penetrates you anally helps you to relax your muscles. This will greatly ease penetration and lessen pain.
9. Keep up communication
For many people, talking during sex can be strained or awkward. However, how will your partner know what is comfortable or feels good if you do not tell them? Communicating with your partner allows you both to have a rewarding sexual experience.
Nerves are normal, but try to keep calm and relaxed. Remind yourself that you trust your partner and that’s why you are allowing them to penetrate your sacred butt area and do- you know, butt stuff to you! Relax and enjoy the experience.
Inexperience and misconceptions can be enough to put off anyone from anal sex. Unlike regular sex, you will need to spend more time preparing your partner before diving into things- literally. Otherwise, you run the risk of causing them a lot of pain, and maybe even permanent damage. While not for everyone, it can be a very satisfying sexual experience.