Handy Humper Masturbator Review

Handy Humper

Handy Humper

Do not assume this is a sex toy review of just another male masturbator. If you’ve been looking for a male masturbator you probably looked at some of the Handy Humper’s competitors too, and I’ll try to highlight the differences between this and another well-known brand of masturbator. So why buy the Handy Humper? I’ll answer those questions at the end of this sex toy review, first a few facts and figures then how it worked in practice.

Washed, dried and 2 AAA batteries fitted the Handy Humper Masturbator lasted all of two days sat at the side of the bed before we decided to try it out. We? Yes, we tried it out because Suze does love to pump my cock with or without a sex toy.

Oh in case you were wondering the toy is 21cm long by 9cm in diameter.

Lube at the ready, Suze squoze and sucked my cock to erection then squirted some of the cool lubricating fluid onto it and the Handy Humper.

The Handy Humper is tight from opening to the very end so Suze had a little trouble persuading the tip of my cock into the entrance of the masturbator. Once in a few firm strokes spread lube inside the soft insert and around my penis.

You can feel every stimulating nodule moulded into the sponge material. The soft insert does feel yielding and warms quickly but you will not find any similarity between the inside of the Handy Humper and a woman’s vagina. Don’t get me wrong here, it feels great but women don’t have rows of stimulating nodules to stroke your cock.

The tightness and the interior bobbles mean you will not fail to be aroused by the toy. However Suze found that it would not accommodate the entire length of my penis so I missed out on the sensation of having the handy humper pressed right against my crotch.

Turning on the vibrating function Suze added another dimension to the stimulation. The speed of the vibrator built into the end of the toys is totally variable, not limited to fixed speeds as you would find with a push-button control. We found two speeds worked well, one about half way which must have been my cock’s resonant frequency, then turning the vibrations to full for an extremely intense experience.

I have tried a Fleshlight with a bullet in before, but that simply wasn’t as effective. The vibration is in the wrong place – at the entrance to the toy not the far end to stimulate your penis.

Suze continued to pump my cock with the Handy Humper until my face told her I was cumming. She let me squirt into the masturbator, finishing me off with rapid, short strokes.

I lay back, smiling for a couple of minutes with my softening cock on my stomach. Then felt the drip of hot, warm cum on my skin as Suze drizzled it on my belly from the masturbator.

So why should you buy the Handy Humper Masturbator? This sex toy feels good on your cock if you like a tight, stimulating ride. You can use the talc provided for lubrication or as I did water based lube. Unlike the Handy Humper’s direct competitor, the Fleshlight, this male masturbator has a vibrator that actually works, not a bullet slipped down the side of the toy as a bit of an after thought.

The Handy Humper isn’t perfect, I didn’t find it fully engulfed me during use as I prefer, but amongst male masturbators it’s not alone in that shortcoming. The internal bobbles work really well to stimulate and the vibrator hits the mark unlike its competitor with its totally variable speed of operation.



Alex reviews sex toys both solo and with his partner Suze, allowing him to give a unique perspective on adult products from a truly authoritative and experienced standpoint.