When sex is the last thing on your mind, you assume all of your friends are going at it like rabbits, and wonder what the heck is wrong with you. With sex being a human desire, and good for our wellness and emotional connection to our partner, we all strive to have a juicy, healthy sex life.
However, according to the 2010 National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles, the average woman aged between 16 and 44 has sex just four times a month.
Often women will lose interest in sex from time to time, leading to confusion and arguments between both partners, and added stress as you try and figure out what is going on.
Whether it be stress, age, family issues, or simply not feeling as sexy as you once did, there are certain ways to combat the dry spell and revive your sex life:
1) Eat the right food – It is important to simply eat well and lead a healthy lifestyle (things like drugs and alcohol will only make things worse!) There is lots of food said to increase your libido naturally – think oysters, nuts and seeds, chocolate, strawberries – possibly worth a try, and you could even try feeding each other some chocolate covered strawberries to get in the mood (add some squirty cream for good measure). Good food is helpful in boosting not only your sex drive but also getting your energy levels higher inside the bedroom.
2) Get enough sleep – I know, you’re thinking “But I need to play, not sleep!” however, trying to have decent sex when you’re sleep deprived is a waste of time. It is important to get some rest, which can be helped with yoga and meditation before bed, or natural and reliable supplements.
3) Exercise – It might take lot of motivation to actually get yourself to that class/through the gym doors, but the benefits are so worth it. Exercise is a sure way to reduce stress and cortisol levels, and with it you will build strength, lose excess weight, and help improve your self-image, all equating to confidence in the bedroom.
Another great tip is to increase the muscle tone in the pelvic floor through Kegel exercises. They help strengthen the muscles of the vagina, making way for a stronger, intense orgasm.
4) Keep calm and combat stress – Everyone is in the same boat, we are all trying to juggle our work/family/social lives and crumbling underneath the shiny surface. It is OK to say ‘no’ every now and then, and take time to unwind after a day’s work. Identify the parts of your life that are making you stressed and devise a plan, preferably with your partner, of how to make things a little easier. Need him to wash the dishes more? Want your parents-in-law to call before they turn up at your place? Address your issues.
5) Keep well lubed – It could be hormones, age, or stress (that again?) that has made your lower region uncooperative. As it’s better down where it’s wetter, we recommend a water-based, natural feeling lubricant such as ID Hero H20 Lubricant, that doesn’t interfere with oral play and heightens sexual pleasure all round.
6) Try sex toys – Sex toys can also help you to re-find your libido. A good place to start is with a sex kit such as Silky Lavender Vibe Set, to help you ignite your sexual energy and flow. Hey, you may just decide that you want to do this more often, as you learn about your body and what really turns you on.
7) Have sex – OK don’t face-palm just yet, hear me out. It could be that you and your partner are stuck in a sexual rut, and no longer yearning for each other. It could be time for a sit down chat where you and your partner are open about what you want and what kind of sex you would like to enjoy.
Little things will make a big difference when put into practice, and it may bring you closer being able to talk about and improve your situation together. Get experimenting with foreplay and reignite the spark, and bear in mind that sex itself can actually be an exercise to increase your libido.
Sarah Tuson is a PR and Marketing Executive at up-and-coming adult ecommerce site LoveWoo. As well as arranging advertising, sponsorship, and public relations, Sarah is responsible for content creation and writes a regular blog on the website with tips and advice surrounding sex, love, and relationships.