Patchy Paul Vibrator Review

Fun Factory Patchy Paul

Fun Factory Patchy Paul

Taking Paul To Bed

I got the call just before leaving work. Alex was going to have to stay over and work late, nothing he could do about it, this was his project and he needed to ensure the work got done.

Thirty minutes late I’m pulling the car on to the driveway wondering what to make us for dinner. First I needed to get out of my clothes and shower. I walked in through the front door and was greeted by the cat. He is the next best thing to a dog but without the commitment.

The bathroom felt cool so I turned on the shower and let it run, the steam heating up the bathroom ready for me. In the bedroom I slipped out of my trousers and blouse. I hung my trousers in the wardrobe and put the blouse and underwear in the linen basket in the corner.

Ten minutes later I was squeaky clean. I blew dry my hair and then lay on the bed. Still a full half hour before Alex was due home. I pulled the curtains as it was now dusk. Momentarily I thought about how I would fill my next half hour.

Then I remembered that I had the Fun Factory Patchy Paul G2 vibrator which Get Me Pleasure had sent over for me to try out. I got up off the bed and put the Kings Of Leon CD in the drive, then I reached inside my bedside drawer for Paul.

I must admit he is cute. Green and cute. A green cute caterpillar vibrator. Here are his vital statistics, I’ll tell you quickly because Alex is going to be back soon.

He is made 100% velvety medical grade silicone, very user friendly 😉
The control is an ergonomic dial control on the base allowing multi speeds, easy to locate and operate
Powered by 2 x AA batteries he packs quite a punch and is reasonably quiet
His most outstanding feature is his graduated hoops of pleasure
Paul has an insertible length of 15cm and a maximum girth of 14cm. Did you just go cross eyed then 😉
He is also splash proof in case you are a gusher Lol

Wearing just a robe I lay back on the duvet, no need to slip under the sheets the central heating has more than adequately warmed the room. In fact it is hot if anything. I eye up my naughty little pleasure. Yes he is cute but can he do the business?

I open my robe slightly allowing access to my freshly showered pussy. Turning the dial slightly fires Patchy Paul in to action and the true power of this wonderful vibrator is released. I was in the mood for a little teasing foreplay and ran the vibrator across my clit sensing the ridges as it passed over my swelling nub.

The fact that this vibe is bendy and not at all rigid is good it allows you to manipulate it more so than a firm one. It’s soft rounded tip or should I say Paul’s nose is ideal for running around your clit and he certainly got a good sniff of Suze’s snatch. 😉

Enough of the play. I wanted to see if he could do more than tease. My own lubrication was enough to facilitate his entry in to me. First the nose pushed in then ring by ring I pushed him deeper inside. Each graduation exciting my vaginal opening. And to add further to the stimulation I brought in to play my PC muscles, gripping him hoop by hoop.

I turned that dial and my whole pelvic area began to resonate, harmonising with Patchy Paul’s vibrations. Pushing the base of the vibrator towards my ass made his little nose press against my g-spot and I slowly worked him in and out of me. Wallowing in those undulations and that strong vibration.

My clit was crying out to join in and as I worked that vibe in and out, in and out I started to work circles around my clit with a wet left index finger. Now I had both hands on the job and it was sending me insane. Is this what they mean by bisexual? Sorry, only joking.

I had the movement and timing just right and within moments I was crossing my feet, pushing down, tilting my pelvis and coming…coming. I was shuddering, blood was coursing through my body, heart beating fast. Flushed…buzzing with excitement. Breath held…orgasmic stasis. A twitch, then release, release from the grasp of orgasm.

Paul had done his job well, I turned the dial and allowed him to rest.

Was that the sound of the front door being closed?



Suze has been using and reviewing sex toys for over a decade. Her sex toy reviews are valued by consumers and the adult industry alike making her one of the most respect adult industry writers and consultants in the world.