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Topco

Topco sex toy reviews.

 
Asylum Speculum

Asylum Speculum

Everyone has played Doctors and nurses haven’t they? Well if you haven’t you should it can be great fun in the bedroom, breaks down barriers and allows you to get intimate in the most detailed ways with your partner. Too often perfectly healthy, open partners hold back from exploring each other fully because of the possibility of offending each other. Any role play, including medical role play can overcome these barriers and let you both explore every facet of your kink.

That’s not to say that the actual act of a particular investigation will be directly sexual or arousing but it does mean that you will develop a healthy respect, appreciation and love of each other’s bodies. That’s exactly how I feel after using the Asylum speculum with Suze. I don’t find the idea of staring up a wide-open vagina sexually exciting, but I do find it fascinating and also value the trust that she puts in me when we do things like this.

The specula are made from hard transparent plastic with a ratchet mechanism adjacent to the fulcrum to lock the device open when it has been inserted. Each of the two specula are sealed in a separate plastic package inside the cardboard packaging so they are clean and ready for use without pre-cleansing.  They are in theory single use devices but the packaging does indicate you can use them again if they are thoroughly cleaned before storage. However using the same speculum on two different individuals carries the risk of cross infection so is a big no-no.

Insertion is easy with a little water based lube to ensure smooth passage into your partner’s vagina. Natural lubrication may be sufficient but it’s always best to play safe and add lube, especially with such an unusual implement such as this. Inside the blades open easily giving you a perfect view of an aspect of your female partner you would otherwise never see. I spread them to position three “of six, which is just a little wider than parallel. Wider would have been uncomfortable for Suze, but each to their own.

A torch is a must, after all it’s dark in there! I spent a couple of minutes genuinely intrigued by my first view of a place that I had until now only felt. As I said I didn’t feel horny because of it but it took our intimacy to a place it had never been before.

At another place and perhaps in a medical fetish scene it might have helped get me horny, maybe Suze too. As part of a BDSM scene like that the supplication of the female partner, allowing them to be subjected to the most intimate of inspection could form part of a very kinky and sexy evening of play. On their own however they didn’t light my fire.

The Specula work perfect, are easy to insert and remove and easy to clean too if you choose to re-use them. They are not however heavy duty so if you do re-use these devices check for cracking before you insert them as while they are more than strong enough for single use having one fail in use would make removal difficult. I tried to break one of the devices in my hand and while it was possible you would have to subject them to serious abuse before they failed.

A very different product, not for everyone but perfect for the kink explorers out there.

 

 
Asylum Patient Hog Tie

Asylum Patient Hog Tie

This BDSM accessory is a prime case of caveat emptor. What you get with the Patent Hog Tie from Topco is just that, the Hog Tie. No wrist or ankle restraints and definitely not the fetish model pictured on the box. OK I know the latter is pretty unlikely in such a small box but I keep hoping that one day … LOL

Anyway, the Hog Tie is an accessory meant to be paired with other items from the Asylum range of bondage restraints, and it does actually say so on the box so that’s not  real criticism. It does hold your “victim’s” arms and legs in place without needing to resort to unwieldy ropes and chains via the three clips, three short nylon tethers and metal ring at its centre.

The accessory is very strong in all respects, except one. The three slide clips meant to fix to the ankle and wrist restrains fail very easily. When we tested them one clip broke almost immediately simply due to the “patient” squirming about – the metal hook section of the Hog Tie sheared straight through.

Our advice – use a little rope, or chain, or metal ring to hold your restraints together when you’re hog tying your partner and spend the money you save on that.

 
Mighty Max Clitoral Vibrator

Mighty Max Clitoral Vibrator

Being asked to carry out a sex toy review on a clit vibe is like offering a child sweets.  My clit is so sensitive that it responds to most toys and gives me the most enrapturing orgasms imaginable.  The pleasure derived from clitoral play is far more powerful (for me) than any penetrative orgasm.  I suppose it can only be compared to the male equivalent, the prostate orgasm.

This in no way belittles penetrative sex with a partner and is subjective.  It’s just for me that clitoral orgasms are far more intense and body inclusive than any through penetration.  Obviously this bodes well if I was a single girl but I’m not, and what I am is greedy for sexual pleasure as I’m sure you will have observed.  ;)

And the size of this little fella is its attraction.  Measuring just 6cm in length you can quite easily secret the Mighty Max away in a purse, bag or pocket.  It even has a loop which enables you to add it to a key ring if you feel that way inclined.  Lol

The silicone encased head flexes for added comfort in use and is ample enough to stimulate your clitoral area with ease.  It comes readily supplied with batteries so you can get started as soon as your Climax Minis Mighty Max is delivered to your door.  Always a plus point.

Here are some interesting facts about the Mighty Max.

  • It operates on 2 x AG13 (LR44)  cell batteries.
  • Offers multiple speeds via a slide controller.
  • Is quiet and powerful in operation.
  • Being so small will fit almost anywhere you wish to secret it.
  • Has a soft rubber coated head which flexes for comfort and ease of use.

One point I must make is that the construction of this product doesn’t make it water tight so you are advised to clean it with a toy wipe or a damp cloth with a little anti bac soap rather than immersing it..

So how did Max perform…

Mid afternoon I decided to take Mighty Max in to the bedroom for a little bit of fun.  As I slipped the head of the clit vibe between my labia I noticed the head has a tendency to pull slightly because it has a jelly rubber coat so you may be best advised to add a drop of lube to the tip to avoid drag.

Don’t over do it with the lube because the minimalist size of this clit vibe means that there isn’t much to grab hold of, so you may wish to insert a finger in to the loop at the base for security.

I slid the slider and waited for the vibrations to start up before I could adequately gauge the correct setting for me.  It was full up to the max.  At the highest level of vibration I still wanted more, it wasn’t quite doing it for me.

So I added a little movement.  I tried various strokes but found that making circles over my clit was the most effective.  This felt very good but didn’t quite hit the mark for me personally.  That’s not to say it won’t work for you, if you have a sensitive clitoris then I’m sure you will find this really does it for you.  To be honest it was more effective when I teased my nipples with it.

This would be a good first clit vibe or a suitable toy for a woman with a sensitive clitoris but not for a seasoned pro like myself.

 

 

 
Piston Grease Masturbation Cream From Topco

Piston Grease Masturbation Cream From Topco

Masturbation can be given a whole new dimension with a little lubricant and sex toy manufacturers are aware of this. An increasing range of masturbation creams now are available like Piston Grease from the hardware range from TopCo Sales.

In the first instance masturbation creams and lubricants are meant to enhance the sensations experienced during masturbation, allowing you to masturbate for a long time without becoming sore. This allows you to practice edging (bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm and holding yourself there) to increase the intensity of the eventual release.

Masturbation creams like Piston Grease take that a little further by adding a scent, in this case leather to the cream. But Piston Grease Masturbation Cream is the first product in my experience that also aims to fulfil your filthy mechanic fantasies by being tinted to look like you are covered in dirty grease straight out of the workshop.

Basic specs first – unusually the main ingredient of this lubricant is soya bean oil, closely followed by water and glycerine. The dark coloration is provided by mica, titanium dioxide and iron oxide.

To work at all this product has to work as a masturbation cream; It does. Smooth and slick to begin with the cream stiffens up slightly as you do and quickly gives you that sweet resistance without the risk of rubbing yourself red. The leather scent hits you as soon as you open the tub but really fills the air around you with naughty leather aroma when you start pumping your piston and the head of your body liberates those aromatic molecules.

If you think you’ll like the sight of a stiff cock covered in dark, slippery grease being stroked then imagine how filthy it looks with white cum rolling down it when you reach your climax …

The manufacturers also say it can be used as a muscle lube so if you have some nice and twisted kinky fantasies about being massaged with axle grease by a burly engineer you totally have it covered with a pot of Piston Grease – we would advise you have plenty of old towels around through because although the product seemed to wash off my hands and other parts of my anatomy it makes no claims to be non-staining.

One thing that you can’t use Piston Grease for is as a sexual lubricant for intercourse. It’s specifically stated on the packaging that the product should not be used internally.

Piston Grease Masturbation Cream does what it says on the tin, well the tub actually. It’s a quality product that adds an extra kinky dimension to your very special “me time” ;-) Have fun.

 

Piston Grease, masturbation lube, masturbation cream, masturbation

 
Asylum Play Doctor Kit

Asylum Play Doctor Kit

We’ve done a few weird sex toy reviews in our time but this is a review of one of the oddest sex toys you can think of. The Asylum Play Doctor kit comprises a roll of crepe bandage, a faux nurse’s cap and a doctor’s reflector as worn by all doctors prior to 1960.

The Asylum sex toy range is themed around, well, erm, an asylum so the packaging looks like an advert for the computer game silent hill, just with kinky nurses. Don’t take that as in any way a bad thing, I rather like semi-psychotic kinky nurses LOL. SO what comes inside the packaging of this kinky kit?

  • 50ft (15mtres) of crepe bandage. For those of you who don’t know crepe bandaged sticks to itself so no need for knots or pins when you are bandaging the patient. Better yet removal simply means finding the end and unwrapping.
  • A doctor’s reflector.
  • A nurse’s cap.

We were at a bit of a loss as to get started as at first we found the items in the kit to be a bit too different from what we normally use in the bedroom. However we are nothing if not resourceful and decided that I, the deviant doctor would bet treated by Suze the naughty nurse for my sex addiction.

Consequently Suze donned the nurses “cap” with some difficulty as the ribbons were a bit slippery and kept slipping off her head until she tied it under her pony tail and I put the rather dubious reflector on my head. I’ll spare you the dialogue of the role play but we did have a bit of a laugh.

As ECT was unavailable to treat my psychotic episodes and let’s face it probably illegal unless carried out by a qualified practitioner nurse Suze decided a bandage would make everything better.

First Suze bandaged my eyes and with two circuits of my head created a very effective blindfold. One problem! She didn’t have any scissors so I had to wait while she retrieved some from her makeup case. The crepe bandage avoided knots or any other fixings, great.

Then she gagged me, not in a brutal way but by wrapping three or four turns of the bandage around my closed mouth. Next came my ears, top to bottom, bottom to top and my hearing was impaired though still functional.

Finally she moved on to the source of my ailment and bandaged my cock and balls in a warm and gently constrictive cocoon.

The whole experience was tender and kinky, sensual and exciting. My cock strained against the restrictions of the bandages and I soon found the treatment over as nurse Suze extracted a large sample from the offending member with a few deft flicks of her wrist. Maybe the path lab will help her diagnosis, though when she had removed me from my head wrapping the sample had mysteriously disappeared.

This kit is a lot of fun, if you and your partner are up for a bit of role play it’s surprisingly good fun. OK so you aren’t buying a full nurse’s outfit and lab coat for the Doctor but so what. It’s simple, easy to use and a bit of a laugh. The sensory experience provided by the bandage exceeded our expectations of this relatively simple box of props and if you want to kick off some interesting role play fun with your partner then this could be the place to start.

You can buy this Kinky Kit here.

 
Thruster Rabbit Vibrator

Thruster Rabbit Vibrator

I have a brand new innovative rabbit to test and sex toy review.  One of the most popular sex toys is the rabbit vibrator, you ask anyone what they think of when you mention sex toys and the response will be exactly that.  It’s also one of the most focused upon when it comes to design.

The design and functionality of the rabbit is forever changing, with numerous movement and vibratory options.  This latest Thruster Rabbit is the latest offering from Topco.

I must admit that I have become a little jaded with rabbit vibrators having tested so many over the years, it has to be something pretty damn good to impress me.  As these rabbits become more multifunctional they also become more complex to use but hey, there has to be a trade off for the multiple stimulatory pleasure they offer so I’ll quit moaning.  Lol

It’s difficult to make such a complex toy compact with so many working parts to contain but the shape and design of the Thruster Rabbit is as sleek and user friendly as can be achieved by a multi stimulatory sex toy.

Here are the features my bunny has to offer every good owner

  • A vibrating tip which offers 3 speeds and 5 functions.
  • An external vibrating rabbit with 3 speeds and 5 functions.
  • And a thrusting shaft which gives you 3 speeds settings and 5 functions.  With this combination there is no way you aren’t going to have a good time!
  • Also the soft jelly sleeve offers nubs and ridges to stimulate in all the right places. ;)

This vibrator is quite noisy in operation because of its multi functions and power so don’t bring it out in the middle of the night if you have guests.  lol

As the weather turns and the bright days give way to grey, misty winter ones I feel that I will be turning more to alternative ways of bringing some sunshine in to my life.  One way to make the day pass quicker and more pleasurably is to indulge in a little toy play.

The chemicals released by the brain post orgasm have an uplifting effect; as those little endorphins flood your body with happy satisfaction.  I needed to get me some of that on this damp miserable October day.

I pulled the bedroom curtains too, threw my clothes in to a pile on the bedroom floor and jumped under the duvet with the Thruster Rabbit, nipples on end and teeth chattering.  My rabbit needed warming so I lay it on the mattress between my legs, it felt cool at first but soon took on my warmth.

As I pressed play on the DVD player I realised that it contained a music CD, Calvin Harris, which started to play.  I was now too warm and comfortable under the duvet to move, so audio accompaniment it was!

It took me a few minutes of button pressing to familiarise myself with the functions and controls but I now had it and was ready to partake in some afternoon delights.  I applied a few drops of water based lube to the tip and ran it around the head before taking the Thruster Rabbit under the duvet and between my legs being cautious not to catch the bedding on the way.

The lube eased the rabbit’s passage and I soon found myself full with the rabbits ears pressing against my clit.  A few presses of buttons and I had the rabbit strumming on my clit, next I pressed the vibrating tip button and selected a highly arousing escalating pattern.

By now I was starting to feel much warmer and cast the duvet back, allowing myself free movement as my flesh blushed hot with arousal.  This vibrator offers much more than your average rabbit, the combination of speed and functions make for a totally enjoyable experience but there was one button yet to be pressed.

I pressed the thrust control and the vibrator started to buck against my hand as the powerful thrusting action got to work on me.  Despite the obvious power on offer I found that the thrusting simply resulted in my hand receiving kickback with little internal stimulation.

Not being one to give up on things I simply withdrew the Thruster Rabbit a couple of inches and enjoyed the thrusting joys of it rubbing my vaginal opening.  This means you have to lean the bottom of the vibe in so your clit still enjoys the pleasures of those tickling ears but it works.

Oh yes it works!  The sweet combination of the vaginal opening massage, those rabbit ears rhythmically thrumming against my clit and the vibe at the tip of the Thruster Rabbit had their wicked way with me and made my toes curl as I spasmed in to orgasm.

I would suggest this is a vibrator for the more experienced user and one to aim for if you are a little adventurous.

 
Climax EZ Bend Ripple Vibrator

Climax EZ Bend Ripple Vibrator

What a morning I have had, my ear has been glued to the phone and my fingers haven’t been still for ages. Time for a little R&R I think, just before lunchtime. I’ve earned it, having been sat at my desk since 8am this morning.

In fact I could slip off in to the bedroom with something to do a sex toy review for you all. What do you think? Well, I have the Climax Silicone EZ Bend Vibrator from OnJoy.com in my bedside drawer already and it’s loaded and good to go.

That does it I’m off for a morning masturbation session. You wait here and I’ll be back soon…

…Ok you can come too!

I’ll read the best bits from the box for you before we start. Continue reading »

 
Climax Silicone Best Friends Anal Beads

Climax Silicone Best Friends Anal Beads

Topco sent me their newest anal beads, and they really put a lump in my throat, before putting a lump somewhere else.

The Climax Silicone Best Friends are not for the faint-hearted, not if you intend to use the toy to its fullest extent anyway. The beads on the one piece moulded silicone toy range in size from 28mm to 44mm along the toy’s 280mm length. That’s quite a challenge, even with the 30ml of H2O lube supplied with the product.

Suze took up her role as naughty inserter of the beads, liberally coating each one of them as she presented them to may ass. The first was not a huge problem, being relatively small. But even as that was inserted the best Friends Anal Beads had a revelation. Because they are spaced very close together the beads apply pressure to the inside and outside of your anal sphincters simultaneously. An interesting experience and one that is unique in my anal explorations so far.

With each insertion Suze attempted to use the right-handed helix contours on each bead to screw the beads into me with little success. The helix ribbing on the beads makes for extra stimulation but does little to ease insertion.

By the time she had inserted the fourth bead (30mm in diameter) I had reached my limit and we decided to call it a day.

The Climax Silicone Best Friends Anal Beads do provide a new experience with their closely spaced and helically contoured form. To get beyond the fourth ball you have to be a really hardcore anal fiend.

These are certainly a set of anal beads you could try if you’re wanting to graduate from intermediate to advanced anal play. But if you’re a beginner I’d try something smaller.

A note on the H2O lubricant supplied with the toy. It is excellent, though 30ml is a little mean. And if Topco had asked me I would have said that a test tube shaped bottle is very nice, with it’s rounded base and all that, but it doesn’t stand up! You therefore have to lay it down in your bedside drawer. Even with the twist-lock top on the bottle you’re bound to get leakage.

 
Dainty Delight

Dainty Delight

Sunday’s can be a bit of a drag, you spend the day preparing your attire for the week and the evening is usually tainted with the thoughts of returning to work on Monday morning.

What I needed was a distraction, something to take me away from my thoughts for a while. I decided it would be a good time to review a video streaming site that has been pending review for a while – and I needed a change of visual scenery. ;)

It was a warm evening and I sat at my PC in just a long t-shirt I had been wearing during the day. The rest of my clothes had been consigned to the wash basket being that I had worn them to do the gardening earlier.

I selected a video to download based upon the small write up and the images available. It was a girl on girl video. The video started to download and the percentage downloaded began to increase.

Alex was still gardening and to be honest I felt a little bit naughty sitting at my desk about to indulge myself in some lesbian action. But why not, he wouldn’t mind. I stared around the room waiting for the download to finish and listening to the bird song outside.

It caught my eye. No I’ll wait until later… Continue reading »

 
Dual Slider Cock Ring

Dual Slider Cock Ring

I’ve come to the conclusion that when it comes to sex toys the best thing to do is to keep it simple. There are too many toys that are over complicated in design and despite all the effort which obviously went into their conception and construction don’t work as well as they could.

When I received the Dual Slider Cock Ring from Topco that’s exactly what I thought had happened when it was created.

The cock ring consists of two loops, one for your cock and the other for your balls. Two bullets are provided, preloaded with batteries, which can be placed above your penis and below your scrotum for extra stimulation. Uniquely in my experience there are two “Cyberskin Nubs” to stimulate your lover, front and back. Continue reading »

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